Amanda Batula and Kyle Cooke are opening up about the intimacy issues that plagued their marriage before their split.
During part two of the In the City reunion, which aired on July 28, the former couple got candid about one of the biggest revelations from the Summer House reunion: that they barely had sex during their four-year marriage.
Kyle, 43, clarified during the reunion that he and Amanda, 35, did have sex while married, but only three times.
Amanda then explained what contributed to their long dry spell, admitting that her mental health played a major role.
“I was depressed,” Amanda said. “Depression will do that. That was part of it.”
Amanda also said the lack of intimacy was not just physical. According to her, there was a lack of emotional connection in the marriage as well.
The Summer House star explained that their sex life had already been a topic of discussion in therapy before they tied the knot in September 2021.
“I wasn’t getting courted,” Amanda said. “There were no dates.”
Amanda said Kyle would work all day and all night before coming to bed and immediately trying to be intimate.
“He would work all day, work all night, then come to bed, tell me an email, and then try to have sex with me,” she explained.
For Amanda, the issue was that there was no romance, connection or emotional intimacy leading up to it.
“It felt like there was no foreplay. There was no emotional intimacy. There was no conversation. There was nothing else happening in the relationship,” she said.
Amanda then admitted how that made her feel.
“I felt like I was just an object at that point,” she shared.
She added that once her depression worsened, the situation became even more difficult.
“Then the depression hit also, and then it was just an unfortunate storm,” Amanda said. “Then he would still go out. He would still do these things. We get into big fights —”
Kyle then interjected, saying the lack of sex in their marriage was difficult for him too.
“Can you imagine?” Kyle said. “Like this is not like a guy-girl thing, but like we get married, and there’s just like we never have sex.”
He then clarified, “Three times.”
Amanda chuckled and nodded in confirmation, but emphasized that what she really wanted was for Kyle to make an effort and take her on dates.
Host Andy Cohen then asked Kyle if he took any responsibility for the situation.
“Of course,” Kyle replied.
However, Kyle also said he felt like he was the one arranging everything in their relationship.
“One of my issues, like every single thing we ever did, was only because I arranged it,” Kyle said. “So, like every date we ever went on, trip, getaway, I’m putting in the hours now or then, so we can provide for a family later.”
Amanda responded by saying that was exactly her point. She felt like she was “put on the back burner” while Kyle focused on work and their future.
“It takes a toll on our romantic and intimate relationship,” Amanda said.
She also called out Kyle’s response to her wanting more romance in their marriage.
“Your solution was for me to read a book on how to date an entrepreneur, and I wanted you to take me on a date,” Amanda said.
She continued, “So like you’re literally saying exactly what I’m saying is that you worked really hard for our future, but it did have an effect on our marriage and our relationship.”
Amanda and Kyle announced their separation in January after four years of marriage. The former couple got engaged in 2018 and officially tied the knot on September 25, 2021.
Their split has been a major topic among both the Summer House and In the City casts, especially after Amanda moved on with their costar West Wilson.
Amanda and West announced on March 31 that they were dating, less than two months after Amanda and Kyle’s separation became public.
Their relationship also created tension because West previously dated Summer House cast member Ciara Miller, who was close friends with Amanda.
