This week on Real Housewives of Orange County, Lydia McLaughlin tries to integrate Alexis back into the group and has coffee with her. After being excluded nearly the entire season, Lydia suggests that Alexis reach out to Tamra and that they move past all of the drama which escalated when Tamra kicked Alexis out of the CUT dinner party.

Lydia explains in her blog why she thought Alexis should reach out to Tamra, but Alexis holds that she should not be the first to reach out and that Lydia should try putting herself in Alexis’s shoes! Lydia writes in her Bravo blog:

At this point in the season, I feel like I have figured out my place amongst the woman. I spent a weekend with them in the wine country, and have hung out with each enough to feel bonded and close to most of them. I have my own true relationship and friendship with them. Therefore, when Alexis and I meet for coffee, I feel comfortable bringing up the idea of making amends. I know Tamra yelled and hurt Alexis, but I also have seen a softer side to Tamra.

On the ride up to LA for Heather’s Hot In Cleveland episode, Tamra was caring and sweet. Now, I understand that may be hard for some fans to hear, but from my experience, I felt like she was a genuine, understanding person. I have seen another side to her from the CUT party. A softer side that she showed with her mother this episode. I’ve started to think perhaps my “role” in this whole group of woman is to be a peacemaker and help everyone get along. Maybe Alexis and Tamra could put their past behind them and move on. I know it is not good to hold onto such negativity and so I wanted to encourage Alexis to talk to Tamra. I couldn’t picture Tamra yelling and cussing at Alexis if we all met for coffee in the middle of the day and had a real heart to heart.

There is a lot of good going on in everyones’ lives and friends are there to celebrate the good times and the bad. I didn’t want Alexis missing out on that. I enjoy having her around and felt it would be nice if everyone could make up. I know that’s a big mountain to climb so I figured, one step at a time. Tamra seems like a good first step. From the sneak peak of next week’s episode, you see us all meeting to talk. You will have to tune in to see how it all unfolds. . .Are my instincts right?

Alexis appreciated the concern but does not think she should reach out first! She explains why in her blog, and also adds that Tamra’s past does not excuse her behavior today:

When Lydia and I met for coffee, I really didn’t expect her to keep asking me to be the one to reach out. It’s frustrating, and I truly don’t feel she is putting herself in my shoes. By the time we filmed this, we had known each other for quite a few months. We’d had many serious talks, and we had hung out on several occasions, and I feel she should have a better understanding of the dynamic between the girls and me. It’s not necessary that she agrees with me, but I had hoped she would respect my decision and support me, whether it’s the same choice she would have made or not.

Tamra’s speech was shocking and eye-opening. It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but it definitely helps me understand her. None of us have had a “perfect” upbringing. We have all have experiences from our past which explain certain behaviors we have. It’s how we handle these behaviors that determine and mold our character.

Who do you think should make the first move? Tamra or Alexis? Do you agree with Alexis that Tamra’s past does not excuse her behavior in the present?