Emily Simpson is opening up about what has really been happening behind the scenes in her marriage to Shane Simpson, revealing that her husband stopped working to care for their children and that the change in their family dynamic created tension between them.
Following an emotional episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County that showed the couple at odds, Emily discussed their marital struggles on Bravo’s RHOC After Show, admitting that their problems did not magically disappear when filming ended.
“We’ll be married 18 years soon. We’re talking about a long-term marriage,” Emily explained. “We’re talking about two people who have been together a long time and two people that have gone through a lot of things.”
Emily and Shane have shared their marriage with RHOC viewers for years, including disagreements over parenting, communication and the demands of balancing their careers with raising a family.
But this season, their relationship has faced additional challenges as the couple navigates the health needs of their 11-year-old son, Luke.
Emily previously opened up about Luke’s health challenges and the additional attention and care he has needed. She has also discussed how difficult it has been to see viewers criticize her for sharing aspects of her son’s health journey publicly.
According to Emily, Shane ultimately made the decision to stop working so he could focus on their children.
“Shane quit working, period, to be able to take care of our kids, and take care of Luke,” she explained.
However, Emily said the arrangement became more complicated once she returned to filming RHOC.
“When he made that decision, I wasn’t filming. So we were together, a team, that was both home, taking care of kids, divide and conquer,” Emily recalled.
“Then when I started filming, it took me away from being able to parent with him as much as I normally did. So then the brunt of taking care of the kids was on him.”
Emily admitted that the additional responsibilities eventually created resentment and an unhealthy dynamic between them.
“I think what was hard for me was we got into this place where it was this constant competition between the two of us.”
She believes Shane may have felt frustrated watching her travel and attend events for the show while he was home handling the day-to-day responsibilities.
“I think maybe he had some resentment because it looked like I was ‘out having fun’ because it’s like, we’re in Vegas, and then we’re in Tokyo, and then I’m going to dinners, and I’m doing all these things,” Emily explained.
But she emphasized that what viewers see as glamorous cast trips is still part of her job.
Meanwhile, Shane was at home managing the children’s needs, including Luke’s care.
“I think he’s at home trying to take care of all these kids and Luke and all the needs and everything and I think he was worn out, and I think he was exhausted,” Emily said.
Emily believes that instead of directly expressing that he was overwhelmed, Shane’s frustrations came out through comments toward her.
“Instead of saying, ‘I’m worn out and exhausted and we need to figure out how we can manage this better,’ I think it came out like snarky shots at me.”
She admitted that his remarks frustrated her because she also felt overwhelmed.
“And then I just get pissed, because it’s like, I’m tired too.”
Emily pushed back against any suggestion that Shane was carrying all the responsibilities while she was enjoying herself.
“It’s not like I’m lying on the couch eating Bon Bons and you’re holding down the fort,” she explained.
“Like, I felt like I was working equally as hard too.”
The tension has been especially difficult for Emily because she and Shane are approaching nearly two decades of marriage. What started as a practical decision to support their family eventually became a source of frustration for both of them.
Shannon Beador, who was also part of the After Show conversation, related to Emily’s struggles by reflecting on her former marriage to David Beador.
Shannon recalled that after they moved into their Crystal Cove home, David began sleeping in the guest room.
“He slept in the guest room,” Shannon shared.
She explained that once communication breaks down in a marriage, the distance between partners can become increasingly difficult to address.
“A lot of time when you’re in that rut in a marriage, things just get even more and more awkward, like they just get worse and worse,” Shannon said.
“And so the idea of saying, ‘Well, let’s have a conversation to make it better,’ you don’t want to do it.”
Shannon added, “So I feel for her.”
As for where things currently stand between Emily and Shane, Emily admitted that while they are still together, the marriage has continued to be challenging.
“I’m sitting here, and we’re still married, but I’m gonna be honest about the fact that, like, we had a rough year and it’s still been rough,” Emily revealed.
However, she said things had finally started improving, at least recently.
“It’s just recently, like, yesterday gotten a little better. He just like started doing all the laundry and like cleaning the house.”
Emily’s comments suggest that the couple is still working through the resentment and exhaustion that developed as their responsibilities changed.
While their disagreement may have looked like another marital argument on RHOC, Emily’s explanation offers more context about the pressure both she and Shane have been under while balancing their children’s needs, filming and nearly 18 years of marriage.
And although Emily is not pretending everything is perfect, she appears hopeful that the recent changes at home are a step in the right direction.