The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back in the south after a few days indulging in some of the west coast’s best offerings – LA and Vegas! Back in their natural habitat, Porsha continues to struggle with her alpha male husband, NeNe still thinks she’s Octavia Spencer, Kandi’s empire keeps on growing, Kenya continues to act questionably, Phaedra is useless this week, and Cynthia tries to stay afloat without NeNe by her side.

Porsha is unpacking from Vegas and Kordell finds her pregnancy test. She takes the exam and Kordell says she must wait at least two minutes for final results. In Porshaland, this means that she has to pee for two straight minutes on the stick. I can’t hate on Porsha because her ditzy personality is making me fall in love with her and honestly it makes her stand out from the pack.

Porsha finds out she is not with child. She asks Kordell how he’d feel if she were, and she’s alarmed when he responds, unenthusastically, that it would be “fine”. Porsha wants to be on the same page as Kordell if they want to have a baby, and right now she doesn’t get that vibe from him at all.

Later on, Porsha sits Kordell down and tells him that the girls are concerned that he’s too controlling of a husband. Kordell says that he’s in control, but not controlling. I’m also not doing this recap, just recapping the show. Like, really, Kordell?!

Porsha brings up children and Kordell gives her an ultimatum – it’s either babies or a career. Porsha is crying and Kordell keeps harping on about how he will be out working and providing for the family, and it’ll be too hard for Porsha to handle her non-profit endeavors while caring for a child. Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton are heard rolling around in their grave. Kordell should have a little more faith in his wife and be a bit more supportive, perhaps. Also, be less of a douche lord.

NeNe is in NYC doing press for The New Normal. She again reminds us that she’s now an actress and as much as I love her, I am starting to get over her role on RHOA. It’s fabulous that she landed a role on a primetime sitcom. She’s also my favorite but she brings next to nothing this season and if I hear her go on and on about her acting one more time I will scream. Deliver a performance where you’re not playing a cleaned up version of your RHOA self and then maybe you can brag about being an actress.

Cynthia and Peter are hosting a black tie event for men’s health (how is this a necessary event?) and we find out Peter invited Walter. The men got so close to Walter while in Anguilla and this has nothing to do with production bringing him along to stir the pot and potentially trigger Kenya’s crazy. Nope. Not at all!

Cynthia is concerned because Kenya spazzed out in LA at just the sound of Walter’s name, basically. After talking to Peter, Cynthia believes Kenya just has to tough it out and be an adult in the case that she will bump into Walter. At the gala, everyone arrives dressed to the nines and all the ladies are looking beautiful. Also in attendance: Walter, all mic’d and ready to roll.

Kenya arrives with Jamal, a friend of Kordell’s from the sports world. Jamal is Kenya’s date for the evening and she remains calm, cool and collected despite Walter’s presence. All the husbands have a pow wow and Walter reveals that Kenya is just too old for his taste which is why he wasn’t attracted to her sexually! Remember how she stood in the shower naked while he ignored her, leading to their break up?

Kenya also decides to chat with Phaedra to smooth out their issues and they both agree to move forward and leave their booty drama behind. Kenya invites Phaedra to her costume gala honoring black women in film, and Phaedra agrees to attend and support her. Also invited, Porsha! You got to love contractual obligations to film the season finale party.

The following day, Kenya goes shopping with Cynthia for her upcoming costume gala. Cynthia tells Kenya what Walter said about her not being sexually attractive, Kenya puts two and two together, and determines that Walter is gay because he never was into her! But isn’t this the man Kenya supposedly moved to Atlanta for and was about to marry and have kids with?! Newsflash: you need to bone in order to have a child with your husband! Kenya continues to prove delusional.

Kandi is juggling a lot of careers and thriving both professionally and personally which is very inspiring to see. She finally consolidated all her businesses to one centralized location and her home is finally done with renovations and decorating which could only mean one thing: housewarming!

Kandi’s huge house (the main house, to clarify) is finally ready and it is just grandiose. The decor is not my style but it works for Kandi’s style and personality. Riley’s room alone is bigger than most people’s first apartments, fully equipped with wall-to-wall chalkboards, a panel of speakers for music, and even a performance stage to follow in mom’s foot steps!

Walter is of course, present again, because “Todd invited him”. This time, Walter has a lady on his arm. Do you think he is trying to debunk the gay rumors or does he hope to make Kenya twirl with envy?

Kandi gives Kenya the heads up that Walter is present shortly after she arrives. Kenya flips out (why here and not at Peter’s event?) and accuses Walter of stalking! Except Kandi and Todd invited him. She freaks out that her security is not with her as if Walter is going to assault her! What a drama queen. Kenya continues to prove herself batsh*t crazy. That, or she is just Bravo’s dream employee willing to act a fool for some ratings.

Cynthia also takes the chance to plant seeds about Phaedra because she and Apollo knew Walter was coming, but didn’t say a word. This is Kandi’s party, so it’s not Phaedra’s responsibility to announce the guest list to appease Kenya’s dramatic self!

Next week, we will see Kenya storm out of Kandi’s house after her tantrum. This show is literally running the clock until the big reunion. The season has become pretty stale that it almost makes me miss the days of Kim Zolciak and Sheree’s delusions! Can someone throw a Marlo cameo in for me?

Let’s discuss this week’s episode! Do you think Porsha should stand up to Kordell about what SHE wants out of their marriage? Is Kenya out of line making defamatory remarks (which is what she was so mad at Phaedra for) about Walter’s sexual orientation?